Unemployment Babble

*It's April 27, 2010. I just found this unfinished post and decided to publish it. I am embracing a less than perfect blog :)

I had all of these intentions of posting to my blog regularly while I haven't been working. I thought I would have a lot more time than I actually do, but honestly I can't hide behind the "time" excuse. I think it's interesting how quickly I hide behind the excuse of being too busy to do something, when in actuality I just can't seem to find the motivation. People everywhere have their plates full, and I often wonder how they manage to fit it all in, or I feel envious about how many different things they have going on. I think the answer to the time equation is passion. If you are passionate about what you are doing in life, you will make time for it, or so the theory goes. I guess after the past two days, I am ready to be a little more introspective of this whole experience, and I am finally making the time to sit with my thoughts.

Since I decided to quit my job, about 3 weeks ago, I've experienced a roller coaster of emotions. First I was pissed, then nervous, followed by liberated, excited and optimistic, and more recently I've been frustrated, defeated and confused. While I still feel I made the right choice, and have overall excitement about my future, the past two days have been discouraging.

First off, the local newspaper postings in this town is a joke. I am a college grad with 6 years of professional experience out of college and yesterday I applied for a job that if offering $13-15 per hour depending on experience, WTF?!?!? After I submitted my resume yesterday, to a place I clearly did not want to work, I felt like I had lost sight of why I quit in the first place. I am trying to take a step in the right direction, not digress 6 years on the professional totem pole.

I guess my biggest problem is that I don't know what exactly I want to be doing at this moment. Unfortunately my last scenario was draining me physically and emotionally to the point where I couldn't even consider doing anything else. For many personal and professional reasons (which I am happy to share in another, much longer post) I knew it was time for me to leave... immediately. I've never just drifted out into the world without a plan, in fact, every job I've ever had has always overlapped with another, leaving me with zero time in between. Since I've found myself recently unemployed and looking for my next step, I am trying to determine which direction to go....